Dear  Undercover Cop,
Yeah, I know you're a cop. You kind of made it obvious. You should really work on those subtle questioning skills. I watched you. You never watched any of the girls dancing on stage, you were watching them walk around to see who was the most fucked up. Then, when I come over to your table, and you almost immediately ask me where you can score some pot or coke, and after I tell you that I don't know, you ask which girl parties the hardest, you pretty much gave yourself away. Also, the way you said "score some pot, maybe coke" also didn't sound right. And the whole thing about how you were "more interested in scoring pot" was weird too. You should work on that. Not every stripper is drunk or high. Some of us do catch on. And no, I'm not going to rat out my girls. Not because I like them, but mostly because I don't want to get my face beat in. I'm the new one, and the only one that walks out sober every night. It would be incredibly obvious that I rat them out. Remember, the world of exotic dancers is extremely cut-throat. Girls won't blink twice at getting into an all out brawl with anyone over anything. If you want a snitch, look for someone that's quitting.

Sierra

Dear Lover,
I know we share a girlfriend. I know it was my idea. But now that I've started dancing, I can't go to all the events that the two of you are going to and I feel left out. I know you two will have sex...a lot. I pray that I won't be forgotten, or that the two of you decide the relationship is more fun without me. I love you. Please don't stop loving me.

Dee

Dear Lover,
I know we are not a couple, but a trifecta. I love our girlfriend dearly, but I can not allow you to father children with her. I want nothing more than to be the only mother to your children. I never thought our threesome relationship would come to this. I know the idea makes you happy, but I can't allow it. You are my world, my everything. If you father a child with her, then I must walk away.

Dee